Work/ Life Balance for Singles during the GFC

How will the single man or single woman who doesn't wish to remain single manage their social life or their quest for a partner during the recession?
Most of us have been aiming for a work/life balance for the past decade. Those who never achieved it will find it tough going during an economic downturn and those who have achieved it will have trouble maintaining it during our current economic crisis.
Bernard Salt, author, KPMG partner and adviser to corporate Australia on consumer, cultural and demographic trends is quoted in The Weekend Australian, 'Window of opportunity for work-life balance closing' by Julia Sterling 17-18 January 2009: "A significant slow-down in the economy will put everyone in survival mode, and the first thing to be dumped in that situation is the ideal of work-life balance. Bad habits will creep in – working on weekends, working late at night, not taking holidays, not speaking up if you are unwell at the office. The stress associated with working hard and under pressure will diminish the quality of life."
Many singles [both single men and single women] tell me that more is expected of them at work because they don't have a spouse waiting for them at home. A single female lecturer at an Australian university tells me that the married people in her department have to be home for dinner with the family by 7 pm so if there is something that has to be completed urgently it's left up to her to stay behind and even work through the night if necessary. Rarely does the married staff stay behind. She said, "The University respects the family unit but not the person who lives alone".
During a financial crisis the pressure is on to work harder, longer hours in order to pull through but also to preserve one's status quo, one must look as though we are working 24/7.
How will the single man or single woman who doesn't wish to remain single manage their social life or their quest for a partner during the recession?
Working smarter is probably the only way one will be able to cope with the pressures of 2009/10. The smart single men and single women will no doubt work smarter - set specific goals to find permanent relationships and work smarter to achieve them.
There will be no more trawling the net for on-line dating, talking for hours on Chat or having 3 hour phone dates on week nights. The smart singles will be in bed early during the week to ensure they are at their smartest by day to give themselves every opportunity to work smarter and get the job done smarter and quicker.
The smart single will not leave finding a partner to chance. He/she will engage an expert to ensure it happens for them within a given time.
At Entre Nous we have already received an influx of people who say, "This is my year and I intend to achieve my goal of a partner. I have a good job, great friends and a loving family the only thing lacking is a companion. Work demands are high so I can't afford to waste time."
One beautiful young lady who recently joined Entre Nous said that she met a fellow on line whom she decided after 9 weeks was actually addicted to phone dating. He rang at 8 pm each evening and talked for 3 hours. Almost all have tried on-line dating with the same result – it's time wasting. Everyone knows of someone who 'met their life partner on-line'. It used to be 'met their life partner at the supermarket'. Of course at Entre Nous we only hear of single women and single men who are not successful on-line and their complaint is that it is a complete waste of time.
During the recession smart singles will not be dating! Not dating you say? No, there is not the time for instant chemistry and immediate dating. That style of courting is not working smart and will be almost extinct with smart singles. When you feel instant chemistry with another and either invite her out or lure him until he invites you out the relationship develops at a speed that does not allow the time required to explore the person their characteristics, value and lifestyle to the depth that we all know is totally necessary when one is planning to embark on a lifelong journey with another.
When single men and single women come to our dating service, most have had two or three relationships that lasted between 3 months and three years either since their divorce or since their teens depending on their age and experience.
The Baby Boomers start off believing they don't need help and it's only after their own efforts have failed several times they will engage an intermediary.
The X Generation are quick to learn from their mistakes once they feel the cost of their marriage or relationship breakup [emotionally and financially] they will consider engaging an intermediary.
The Y Generation don't want to learn anything the hard way. They want to do it right the first time.
The smart singles are looking for solutions to their problem of being single that don't waste time. Nobody wants to waste another 3 months to 3 years before they discover he/she wasn't suitable.
The smart singles embrace 'The Entre Nous Process': Meet for activities informally [i.e. tennis, golf, cycling or visit galleries] and meet several times. Be meeting others too as part of the Entre Nous process so that one has a choice from a variety of people rather than the old-fashioned way of courting where you start off dating before you even know whether she/he is really your type, relying on chemistry.
Smart singles don't rely on chemistry. It is such a fickle emotion. Despite the fact that there is instant chemistry with the most handsome and charming man you have ever met, if he doesn't call you when he said he would or can't remember what you told him yesterday the chemistry fades almost instantly.
Smart singles don't worry about whether there is chemistry; they are more interested in the person and whether this new person will meet their long-term needs, the core values that are the foundation for a relationship. The smart single woman or single man knows that love is based on admiration and if there is enough to admire about this person the love will follow.
The smart single wants a choice rather than instant chemistry. Meeting several people gives them the opportunity to learn about themselves. It's learning the smart person's way rather than learning from mistakes. The smart single wants to work smarter and just doesn't have time to make mistakes.
We, at Entre Nous are expected to do the groundwork to ensure the people we introduce are reasonably compatible with each other before they meet. They feel secure in the knowledge that we have spent a certain length of time with each person to whom we introduce them.
The winners during this recession will work smart, using wisdom as well as enthusiasm to carry them through and smart singles will use the advice of experts to achieve their goal of a successful relationship more quickly.

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Books by Rosalind Baker (nee Neville) Dial A Woman, Dial A Man & Dial A Personality: See our books
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Keywords: Single man, single woman, dating, dating agency, dating service, introduction dating agency, introductions, introduction agency, long term relationship, relationship

For more information, please contact:

Rosalind Baker (nee Neville), Principal
Telephone: (03) 9669 6000 or 0402 017 243
Email: rb@entrenous.com.au

Books by Rosalind Baker (nee Neville):
Dial A Woman, Dial A Man & Dial A Personality

Questions: Frequenty Asked Questions