Are there any men out there as strong as me? by Rosalind Baker
Women have always been strong yet in generations past it was rarely required to show that strength other than during a crisis. In today's environment most women have a serious career competing with their male counterparts for jobs with equal salaries.
It has become necessary to show one's strength all day long at work.
However because women in the workforce is relatively new to Australian women whose grandmothers were mainly full time homemakers there is still a little finetuning to be done to be able to master the art of balancing work and personal life. Many women have not yet learned to take off their work hat before leaving the office.
She leaves the office still projecting her work facade. Expecting to impress men with her strength of character. If she could only see that strong guy she competes with at work in his home environment.
He is putty in his wife's hands and a piece of cake for his children to run roughshod over.
A man doesn't marry a woman so he can compete with her. She is his yin and he is her yang; he wants a woman who will dovetail with him. Where he is weak, she is strong and vice versa.
He wants to feel comfortable showing his vulnerable side and wants to feel he can protect her when she is vulnerable too. It is part of a man's role in a relationship to protect his woman. If he is deprived of this role by the strong career woman he may lose his sense of self worth in the relationship.
Even the Mum's Boy personality –type who likes strong women (e.g. The Dad's Girl personality type) wants her to be feminine and to show her vulnerable side too.
Although he may be inclined to shirk responsibilities in the home because his mother didn't allow him much independence on the home front, he still wants to protect his woman. Even he who seems weak in some ways is quite capable of staging an almighty tantrum if he feels he is being walked over.
When a single woman says to us at our Entre Nous introduction agency, and we hear it quite frequently, "I want a man who is stronger than I am, someone I can look up to", she usually thinks he is a rarity. She doesn't seem to realise that a man only shows his strength when he is under threat, backed into a corner or there is a crisis.
He saves his strength for business hours and on the sporting field. There is no way that he will be showing his strength while socialising in particular with a single woman who may be a prospective Ms Right.
He is more likely to show his vulnerable side when he is seeking to engage with a single woman where there is the prospect of sharing intimate, vulnerable moments.
It is not uncommon for married women to have been married for years before she crossed the line with her man to discover there is a lion underneath his gentle exterior. My cousin, who is married to a judge, told me once when he was young barrister that: "he rips people's arms off at work and yet he is just a lamb at home with me and the children".
A man enjoys his challenges at work but at the end of the day he is seeking relaxation, peace and intimacy in a safe haven with a woman who understands and is prepared to meet his needs. In return he can provide her with the love and nurturing provided that she opens her heart and is ready to receive his way of loving.
The single woman who says, "I will run roughshod right over him if he isn't stronger than me" lacks the confidence to be able to maintain a successful relationship. She hasn't learned how to treat others with respect.
When one cannot master the art of treating others with respect it usually means that she does not respect herself. She doesn't really need a man who is stronger than herself because most men would be. What she needs is to learn how to develop her own self esteem and she could do this by treating others with respect.
Although a woman's greatest need is be to be loved a man's greatest need is to be respected by his woman. When she has modified her own behaviour I doubt that you will ever again hear her say: "Are there any men out there as strong as me?"
The wife who says she was married for several years before she crossed the line may have given her husband grounds to show his strength yet if she has a career outside the home she obviously knows how to balance her work and home life.
She takes the work hat off at home to be his soul mate an intimate companion who is loving, kind and considerate. When one is having a love affair of the heart it is not a time to be competing to see who is stronger. It's a time to be loving and receiving love.
Books by Rosalind Baker (nee Neville) Dial A Woman, Dial A Man & Dial A Personality www.entrenous.com.au/books
Questions: see www.entrenous.com.au/faq
For further reading:
The Strong Woman's Desire for a Strong Man... what falling in love teaches us about ourselves
Maja Storch (Finch Publishing: Sydney 2007)
Dial A Personality by Rosalind Baker (nee Neville) www.entrenous.com.au/books.asp)
How to Succeed with Men by David Copeland & Ron Louis published by Reward Books
To find out your personality type: click here
To find out "Are you ready for a relationship?": click here
Books by Rosalind Baker (nee Neville) Dial A Woman, Dial A Man & Dial A Personality: See our books
Questions: See our FAQ
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For more information, please contact:
Rosalind Baker (nee Neville), Principal
Telephone: (03) 9669 6000 or 0402 017 243
Email: rb@entrenous.com.au
Books by Rosalind Baker (nee Neville):
Dial A Woman, Dial A Man & Dial A Personality
Questions: Frequenty Asked Questions
