Managing the Risk in Relationships by Rosalind Baker
I started Entre Nous Introduction Agency (later changed to Entre Nous Relationship Consultants & Educators) 13th March 1991. We were successful in introducing couples who formed relationships almost immediately and business ran smoothly until 1996 when we heard of our first divorce – shock, horror. How mortifying! This couple seemed so happy. She was a doctor and he a scientist. It seemed like an ideal relationship at the time. They married in 1993 - the marriage lasted three years. The worst part was that this couple had a beautiful little one year old daughter. In 1997 there were 2 more divorces, again at the three year mark.
I felt personally responsible, I had accepted the praise for good matching and now I had to take blame for the failures. The divorces weighed heavily on my conscience.
In 1997 I read an article by Arch Deacon Philip Newman who was vicar of St John's Toorak. St John's is renowned for weddings and therefore it was expected that they have the best Relationship Education available for the bridal couples. Arch Deacon Newman stated in his article that as far as he knew the divorce rate was 10 % which compared favourably with the National average of almost 50%. His article stated that couples were invited back to partake of a booster course called Enrich at various stages as their marriage.
It has been said that the teacher arrives when the pupil is ready. Entre Nous introduction agency was ready for Relationship Education. We contacted Lynley Giles at St John's who kindly agreed to conduct courses for our successful couples.
During late 1990's our clients were mainly baby boomers and generation X who thought they didn't need relationship education. I kept hearing, "We're so happy we don't need it" or "We are both experienced people, we don't believe we need relationship education".
Our next strategy was to conduct New Members Evenings for all the new members for the month about 30 people and besides revealing the Entre Nous introduction process, a representative of St John's Toorak Relationship Education faculty or from Life Works spoke about the importance of Relation Education to manage the risks in relationships. Our plan was to condition our single men and single women members so that by the time they had formed a relationship they would also be ready for education. In 2005 we changed the New Members Evening to a one-on-one New Member's Briefing which not only gives the relationship consultant a better opportunity to learn more about her client but a good time to discuss the importance of relationship education with each single woman and man as they enrolled.
By 2008 our clientele have changed to less baby boomers and the introduction of the first of the generation Y. Generation Y are open to as much information as we can provide, in fact we find we are constantly challenged to keep up with their need for information. After the "know it all" baby boomers and the cynical 'generation x', the 'generation y' single women and single men are a joy to work with. They want to work with us and are confident that they will enrol in our relationship education courses once partnered.
Over the past 11 years the Entre Nous Relationship Course moved from an outsourced course to in-house, yet despite having facilitators on the staff; due to lack of time, we outsource the expertise from Life Works to provide Course facilitators.
St John's Anglican Church Toorak and Life Works both found that 10% of all couples who complete the Relationship Education Courses do not continue in the relationship. It is better to find out before they marry that afterwards. At Entre Nous we have only had one couple whom we felt was not such a good match after seeing them perform during the course. They went ahead with the marriage and five years on he called in to tell us how happy they are after 5 years of marriage.
Entre Nous has not heard of one divorce from couples who have completed the Relationship Education Course. In our almost 20 years we only know of 7 divorces via over 1000 marriages.
Books by Rosalind Baker (nee Neville) Dial A Woman, Dial A Man & Dial A Personality www.entrenous.com.au/books
Questions: www.entrenous.com.au/faq
For further reading:
Getting the Love You Want: Harville Hendrix, New York Times
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman & Nan Silver: published by New York Times
His Needs Her Needs by Willard F.Harley, Jr. Pub by Fleming H Revell
Why Women Talk and Men Walk by Patricia Love & Steven Stosney
To find out your personality type: click here
To find out "Are you ready for a relationship?": click here
Books by Rosalind Baker (nee Neville) Dial A Woman, Dial A Man & Dial A Personality: See our books
Questions: See our FAQ
Keywords: single men, single women, introduction agency, dating agency, dating service, entre nous, articles by Rosalind Baker, articles by Rosalind Neville, books by Rosalind Neville, books by Rosalind Baker, interviews with Rosalind Baker, interviews with Rosalind Neville, relationship advice, dating tips, personality types, The 7 personality types, the 7 male personality types, the seven female personality types
For more information, please contact:
Rosalind Baker (nee Neville), Principal
Telephone: (03) 9669 6000 or 0402 017 243
Email: rb@entrenous.com.au
Books by Rosalind Baker (nee Neville):
Dial A Woman, Dial A Man & Dial A Personality
Questions: Frequenty Asked Questions
