"Are You Too Picky?"

'Very picky usually means that the 'very picky' person lacks faith in themselves. Most often the 'very picky' person is lacking some of the pre-requisites that makes one very eligible, more attractive than others and able to attract members of the opposite sex in droves.

This could mean he/she:
• has already developed a negative attitude towards achieving the goal of a new partner so that he/she won't be disappointed when it doesn't happen and then can blame Entre Nous or the type of people we offer

• is socially disadvantaged due to shyness
• lacks personality
• lacks experience
• wants children and knows she has missed the boat
• is grossly overweight (i.e. looks like a heart attack or a stroke about to happen)
• is poorly groomed to the extent that it is offputting
• has rotten teeth or bad breath

Of course none of our clients fit into these categories – or at least not too many.

When a person is 'very picky' one wonders what they are expecting. Are they expecting a duke or duchess, an Olympic medalist, a Nobel Peace prize winner, a famous film star or director, or a member of royalty.

One can only expect what one has to offer. If you have achieved greatness, of course you can expect it. However most people who have achieved greatness are not expecting the same of their partner, they are most probably hoping for a partner who is supportive of their pursuits.

When the 'picky person' comes to Entre Nous with their long list of specific requests, we do wonder if they have already convinced themselves that they won't get a partner and the Entre Nous exercise is to prove to themselves that there just isn't a person good enough for them.

The 'picky person' complains that you haven't given me what I want, which most often means I am not up to attracting the men or women you have introduced to me.

Because of the 'picky persons' lack of self esteem, he/she does not try to make others' feel good by making an effort at meetings. He/she is more interested in proving the introduction isn't what she wants, or is so busy checking them out that he/she forgets to treat the person as he/she would like to be treated. Feedback from their introduction often reads like this: "He/she was jolly hard work." Or "I felt as though I was in a job interview".

If the 'picky person could learn from the 'successful person' everyone would be successful. The 'successful person's' secret of success is to relax, enjoy, be friendly and subsequently become popular. It's the 'popular person' who gets the widest choice. It's the 'popular person' who gets the best catch and it's the 'popular person' who enjoys his/her program from beginning to end.

For further reading see: http://www.barbaradeangelis.com/advice_compatibility.asp#4
Also look out for Marry Him (The case for settling for Mr Good Enough) by Lori Gottlieb due out in March 2010.

To find out your personality type: click here
To find out "Are you ready for a relationship?": click here
Books by Rosalind Baker (nee Neville) Dial A Woman, Dial A Man & Dial A Personality: See our books
Questions: See our FAQ

Keywords: single woman, single man

For more information, please contact:

Rosalind Baker (nee Neville), Principal
Telephone: (03) 9669 6000 or 0402 017 243
Email: rb@entrenous.com.au

Books by Rosalind Baker (nee Neville):
Dial A Woman, Dial A Man & Dial A Personality

Questions: Frequenty Asked Questions