Etiquette for Singles

Are manners important on the singles scene? When a couple become very comfortable with each other, some manners may not be as important as others may. They have their own unique culture. It suits them exclusively. However when you are meeting new people all the time in search of a partner, does it really matter whether you display old fashioned manners or ignore them altogether?

Are manners important on the singles scene? When a couple become very comfortable with each other, some manners may not be as important as others may. They have their own unique culture. It suits them exclusively. However when you are meeting new people all the time in search of a partner, does it really matter whether you display old fashioned manners or ignore them altogether?

When a couple part company, their unique ways (of allowing manners to slip) may not be acceptable in the next relationship. With each new relationship, one must start again from the beginning to learn what is acceptable with the next partner. Each person is looking for a mate who is considerate and will treat them with respect and loving care. In the embryo stages of a relationship or even before that, one can hardly show love. The simplest way to show one’s respect and consideration is with good manners.

At a luncheon at the Hyatt, I found myself sitting between the vice chancellor of one university and a professor from another university. I thought to myself, “What am I going to talk about to two such learned gentlemen?” So I asked them what was the most important lesson I could teach my grandchildren. They hummed and hawed for a few minutes so I told them that Mia Farrow asked the Queen Mother the same question to which she replied, “Good manners”. The vice chancellor said, “She would say that, she was so old fashioned. What she means is respect.” The professor agreed.

This means that good manners are another term for respect. We all want respect from a partner and we like to think we treat others with respect but knowing how much respect and how to show is a mute point.

My advice to single men is to assume all women are expecting you to demonstrate your very best manners. Do not be put off by the odd women’s libber.

Women’s liberation has been responsible for some women, objecting to displays of good manners, yet still expecting respect. For the average fellow this makes it difficult to know where to draw the line. My advice to single men is to assume all women are expecting you to demonstrate your very best manners. Do not be put off by the odd women’s libber.

Consideration and safety also fall under the good manners banner. No matter how independent she is, a woman likes to feel protected by a man. Offer to walk her to her car if it’s dark, especially in Fitzroy and St Kilda. Don’t arrange to meet her in unsafe places. After an evening out, when you are not invited in to her home, wait outside until you are quite sure she is safely inside.

Old fashioned customs such as walking on the outside of the footpath are part of the mating game. These small practices reveal that you intend to be considerate and respectful.

Old fashioned customs such as walking on the outside of the footpath are part of the mating game. These small practices reveal that you intend to be considerate and respectful. A man can make his intentions easy to interpret, like the good dancer who knows how to guide a woman. He can say to her, “Wait there till I open the door for you”; “Let me pull out your chair”; “I’ll walk on the outside.” She will feel more confident when she knows what to expect and so will you if your intentions are not misinterpreted.

A woman can also show her respect by giving a man every opportunity to display his manners. She can wait a few seconds to see if he will open the car door for her and allow him to pull out her chair. It is just as respectful to allow him to demonstrate his good manners as it is for him to display them.

Displaying good manners and allowing them is the forerunner for a loving caring, relationship. Especially if you want someone to respect you too. And if respect is the modern term for good manners then they are very important for those who are seeking a partner. Therefore, etiquette is very important for singles.

Rosalind Neville is the Principal of Entre Nous Relationship Consultants and Educators.